Trigger warning: This story mentions addiction, relapse, trauma, and suicidal thoughts.
Marcus openly shares that his journey of recovery is a lifelong path. He acknowledges that it is not linear and has involved relapse, proving that a setback does not mean the journey is over. The strength to keep going actually comes from a foundation built long before his struggles. As a young child, he was always told to write thank-you letters for birthdays, Christmases, and Easter to his family, friends, and anyone who gave him even the slightest thing. He genuinely enjoyed the practice, using special calligraphy pens to carefully write out his appreciation. While that little plant of gratitude went dormant when he lost his way as a teenager. The good part was that the seed was already firmly planted.
In his young adult life, Marcus was living on the edge doing laboring jobs, but he was actively trying to turn things around. He describes it as going south and trying to go north. He proudly got into university to study philosophy. Then, a horror car crash in 2014 brought everything to a halt. The trauma was immense. He was put in a wheelchair, breaking his back in three places, shattering his left femur bone, and suffering a degloved right leg. His whole body was crushed and mangled, requiring titanium rods in his legs and multiple skin grafts. His lungs collapsed, and he had swelling on his brain. He is still seeking professional help for the extreme trauma of that event.
To cope with the pain, he became physically dependent on painkillers and eventually alcohol.
He did not understand addiction or physical dependence at the time; he only knew he was craving relief. When he tried to stop, he suffered fits and seizures that literally nearly killed him. As the chemicals took their toll, friends and family backed off, and he felt incredibly alone and disappointed.
In 2016, he entered recovery. Professionals told him he couldn’t do the standard 12-step work yet, because those recovery programs require being completely clear of all substances. But they gave him one vital suggestion: write a gratitude list every day. At first, he was completely lost. His lists were basic, almost like a box-ticking exercise where he would have five minutes of positivity. Even while the rest of his day felt heavy and difficult, the simple act of showing up for himself helped.
“I swear that break of positivity saved my life because there were times when I was so lost, hopeless, and depressed. I was literally suicidal at points, but just the physical action of picking up a pen and writing it down gave me something.”
~ Marcus
He believes that faith without works is dead, so he kept taking that physical action. By 2021, after going to treatment and living in a recovery house for some years, he started to see the dormant seed blossoming. He had gotten completely off all substances for just under three years. He welcomed his children back into his life, found a job earning decent money, and got a really nice place for the first time ever. He bought all new furniture so his kids could stay over for the weekends. It felt like he had reached the top of the mountain. He became very active in his local church, with plans to get involved on a ministry level. He developed new hobbies, joining a gospel choir, playing table tennis, and getting very into his fitness.
It was around this time he discovered the Gratitude app to begin Journaling. Before the app, writing ten things could become slightly monotonous. The app expanded and evolved his practice by offering prompts. Instead of a basic list, his brain naturally began looking for positives, like noticing a cup of tea, beautiful flowers, or a cute cat sleeping on a window box. He still actively uses the app today, just as he has for over five years. He loves how the app can pop in with alarms throughout the day, providing a constant refresh for his mindset. But through this consistency, he has reached a beautiful point where he doesn’t even need the reminders anymore because gratitude now happens naturally.
“Without gratitude, I was cynical, negative, and depressed. With gratitude, I just saw so much more beauty in the world, in people, in my fortune, and in the fact that I was alive. I am very fortunate to still be breathing, let alone physically able to walk around.”
~ Marcus
However, coming back to ‘real life’ from a semi-institution brought an overwhelming amount of change. Marcus openly notes that he struggles to say no. In trying to help a handful of people, his self-described habit of people-pleasing led him to end up doing too much. He reached a burnout point. He drifted slightly from his church and his recovery safe spaces, becoming a little bit focused on money. An inappropriate relationship in 2025 blew his mind a bit and sent him off track, ultimately leading to a bumpy patch and a relapse. For him, a relapse is not out partying; it is an ugly, isolating experience of using substances on his own just so he will not feel anything. Unfortunately, he lost physical contact with his children again, though they do remain in touch.
Throughout this whole process, gratitude remained his one unbreakable anchor. Sometimes the room was incredibly dark, but the one glimmer of light was spending some time doing his practice. He notes that gratitude is like being a good shot with a gun; if you shoot every day, you stay a good shot, but if you put it down for six months, it fades away. You have to keep watering the plant even in the winter.
“It is massively interwoven into the positive aspect of myself. It brings me closer to my creator. My relationship with my creator is totally transformed through gratitude.”
~ Marcus
These days, he accepts where he is at and no longer goes on a crusade to catch up with his peers. He remembers a time when he was so consumed by uncomfortable physical sensations that he couldn’t see past his own pain. Now, even when he feels physically awful, he looks out the window at the beautiful countryside, the sunset, and the greenery. He feels overwhelmingly happy realizing he is surrounded by people who love and care for him through mind-blowing acts of kindness. With gratitude, he simply sees so much more beauty in the world. He regrets the harm caused to himself and others, but a dear friend reminded him that his path could not have happened any other way. His ego thought his life was supposed to go a certain way according to society, but he is learning to be relaxed, honest, and accepting of his true journey. He remembers the recovery saying to be grateful or be hateful, choosing to see the simple gifts like being able to switch on a light or having hot water.
“If you have got breath in your lungs, there is a chance to change. I thought I had achieved everything I wanted, and life taught me there are still more lessons to learn. Just never give up. Keep trying, and there is goodness in the world.”
~ Marcus
This is Marcus’s story, told beautifully by him and curated in its truest form by me to share with you.
I would love to hear your story.
Write to me at preeti@gratefulness.me 💌
Every story is a reminder that a grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.
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