When I was 14, I was going through quite a chaotic time in my life. I cared so much about making others happy and feel good, yet I constantly seemed to mess up and get hurt myself. At times I felt amazing in certain moments, and at others I felt like my whole world was crumbling in on me. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and from there I was put on medication and the journey continued. I remember writing in a journal all the things I hated about myself, during my manic depressive episodes. It was a way to let go, to release feelings onto the paper until there were no more. During university the situation did not get much better.
People kept telling me to focus on the bright side, and although I could in hypomanic moments, that was all I did. When I was depressed, it was like my mind found the negative aspects of those positives.
Then one moment changed everything. I realised being bipolar is a blessing, not a curse. It allows me to feel so much, to connect because of it, and to empathise. It allows me to live fully in the moment, experiencing whatever emotions come through. It also allows me to feel absolutely blissful at times.
By rewriting the narrative, the whole story changed. I went off medication, I stopped taking drugs, and I started practicing gratitude in a journal and in my mind constantly. My manic depressive episodes slowly lessened until at one point they disappeared.
I am now the luckiest person I know. I am grateful almost my entire day. I make sure not to complain. At first, this was work, like anything, and it required diligence until it didn’t. Until it became who I am.
The type of friends I had changed. The type of things that happened to me changed. Everything changed.
It is interesting because while we are struggling we tend to say, “It is so hard to focus on the good when I am struggling instead of happy,” but that is exactly what we need to do to stop the perpetuation of struggle.
Once you are grateful for everything, no matter what, nothing can bring you down. Every moment of pain is temporary because you understand that pain is something we learn from and something we can be thankful for.
I only recently found the Gratitude App, and truth be told, I am quite happy with it, because it allows me to continue my journaling even when I do not have my notebook with me. It also gives you the chance to create a vision board and affirmations, which is a feature I adore. I start my morning by watching these rather than checking my social media. It has been a great way to break that habit since I instinctively grab my phone when I wake up. Switching it with watching affirmations and my vision board instead of scrolling through Instagram has been amazing. It is also great to do this first thing in the morning, because in that period of waking up, your brain waves are more accessible, which means you can guide and shape your subconscious more easily.
So if you are like me and have struggled with any of this, whether a difficult mindset or grabbing your phone first thing in the morning, why not join me in my new little habits and, consequently, my new big life?
P.S. Dr. Joe Dispenza helped me understand that belief can change your physical makeup, brain chemistry, and DNA. I have since switched my studies to integrative medicine to explore how we can live full, positive, happy, radiant lives, because everyone has a birthright to this.
Recent Comments