Zaira’s Story – Finding my identity

When I was growing up, I had an absent father and mother. My father died when I was just 1 year old, and my mother abandoned me when I was 2. I lived with my mother’s father after that. I just turned 18 a couple of weeks ago, and looking back, my childhood wasn’t ideal, but it was bearable—at least until I hit my teenage years.

As a teen, I struggled with mood swings and irritability. It was hard growing up because I felt like my voice was silenced, and I was forced to be someone I wasn’t. Even now, I’m still trying to figure out who I am on this planet called Earth.

My grandmother, who raised me, is diabetic. She often scolds me for the smallest things, and because she’s overprotective, she never lets me go out and explore. I’ve always felt cupped inside the four walls of our house. Sometimes I wonder if following all the rules has even been worth it.

I live with anxiety and tend to overthink. There’s rarely a moment that doesn’t bring me to tears. But recently, I started dating someone, and he’s been helping me. With him, I can laugh, smile, and truly be myself. For that, I’m grateful.

I’m still new to gratitude, but I’ve learned that it helps me stay positive and find peace. Gratitude eases pain and makes me appreciate even the smallest things. I know it’s hard to feel grateful when your voice isn’t heard—I’ve been there. Feeling trapped and always thinking about “what could have been” doesn’t help. What does help is focusing on the present and the future, because those are what shape who we become.

Finding your identity is important, but when you’ve spent so long being someone you’re not, it can feel impossible. What I’ve discovered is that talking about the small things that bother you can change your perspective. Gratitude broadens your awareness, deepens your emotions, and helps you understand life differently.

We all have problems, but if we focus only on them, we’ll stay stuck in pain. Gratitude invites us to notice the little things that ease the hurt—the people around us who care, the ones who try.

That’s how gratitude changes the way you think.

I’m still finding myself and figuring out who I want to be. But for now, I’m enjoying my surroundings, embracing who I am, and discovering how I want to show up in the world.