I was dealt the cards of addiction and mental illness that run deep on both sides of my family. Because of that, both of my parents were absent from my life at a very young age. As an only child, I often wondered how both parents could neglect their child. But I couldn’t sit in that pain forever. I eventually told myself that maybe God allowed me to experience it for a reason—and that it was up to me to accept it, toughen up, and take control.
As a young girl, I began making assumptions about myself and others. I created my own “handbook” on how the world worked. Over time, that handbook led to unstable relationships and chaotic situations that repeated for years. I thought this was normal, but now I see that it was all because a child had written the narrative.
Eventually, I fell into the darkness and trap of addiction, which led me to Alcoholics Anonymous. There, I met people of all ages with stories similar to mine. I dove into the steps, hoping they would help me make sense of the gaps and instability in my life. But at first, I didn’t take it seriously. I thought my own way was better than the program that had helped so many others.
After some time away, trying to navigate life on my own, I found myself staring in the mirror and realizing something hard but true: everything broken and lost in my life was because of me. I was the problem the whole time.
When I returned to the fellowship, I came back humbled and ready to admit defeat. I realized that for so long, I had clung to the idea that I was never wrong. God had allowed me to show up with pride so that He could bring me back with humility. The same people who said “told you so” welcomed me with open arms and gratitude.
That’s when I learned that humility is a form of love—a way God guides us toward trust and faith in Him.
For so long, I carried every burden myself and never gave others the chance to share their wisdom. As a child, I wasn’t selfish; I was simply protecting myself. But now I see that my Creator used this group of people and their principles to change my heart. I finally gave back to God the power I had tried to hold for so long.
It felt freeing beyond words. Gratitude filled me as I realized that we are never alone in this journey. We’re all at different stages, learning from each other and shining light where it’s needed most.
Keep your ears, heart, and mind open. Redirection from the Creator is all around us—you just have to pay attention.
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