TW: Mentions of emotional abuse, financial abuse, and distress.
I recently made the really hard decision to leave my marriage of five years because it was extremely toxic and had damaged me and my 16-year-old daughter emotionally. My husband is highly emotionally absent and neglectful, which caused emotional, mental, social, and financial damage to the family.
We tried counseling on several occasions, but it never helped because my husband was never committed to any of the things we were advised to follow. So I made the decision to leave the marriage.
When I did that, he decided to stop paying my rent and reduced the upkeep amount to almost nothing. I am not in formal employment. I run a not-for-profit organisation where I help people heal from trauma and mental health issues, and the organisation does not make money yet. My husband knew this, but he still made this decision.
I was devastated, to say the least. I had three children to feed and shelter, and I had no money. I felt alone and hopeless.
To make things worse, both his family and mine did not support my decision. They believe a woman must tolerate anything the husband does and must keep the marriage intact. Anything she experiences, she must endure silently because “God hates divorce.” So I felt extremely isolated.
Then came the eviction notice from my landlady, and I had no money to even shift from the house. I had no money for food for the children. Everything was hitting me at once, and I felt overwhelmed. I knew I could not reach out to my family or his, because they would tell me this was my fault, that I was too proud and should go back to my husband.
In desperation, I reached out to private groups on social media for help, but nothing came through. As the deadline approached, I swallowed what little self-dignity I had left and reached out to some friends, opening up about my situation.
To my shock, many of them rallied behind me. They were understanding and empathetic and sent the help I needed, plus extra. I was able to move to my mother’s place, although she made it clear through her words and actions that she did not want me there. But I had nowhere else to go, so I stayed.
Living in this hostile environment with my children, I knew I had to do something drastic to stay positive, avoid drowning in self-pity, and stop myself from regretting my decision. I searched for something that could help me stay afloat. That is when I came across the Gratitude App.
It helped me with daily affirmations, my vision board for my organisation, and staying positive in general.
The real turning point, and the reason I am sharing this story, was a Daily Zen post. The thankfulness post asked us to say thank you to someone who has been extremely kind to us.
When I reflected on this, I thought of the people I reached out to who gladly and compassionately helped me in my time of desperation. I realised how many people I truly had in my corner. People who are right here in my life, not far away. I cried because I realised that I was never really alone when I thought and felt like I was. There were people who cared deeply for me and my wellbeing and were ready to help.
Thank you so much for this app for helping me realise a truth that was right in front of me, but I could not see until now.
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