I have always been more of a talker than a writer when it comes to my emotions. Putting my thoughts and feelings into words has never come easily, but I keep trying. That is why I downloaded the Gratitude app. It helped me express my emotions and move forward through the challenges that life brought my way.
But that did not last long. I fell to my lowest point and lost all motivation. I stopped doing the things that once helped me cope. Instead, I started drinking. Whenever something upset me, I turned to alcohol. I drowned my feelings, but instead of finding relief, I felt even more overwhelmed and drained.
Despite everything, I kept busy with daily chores and activities with my little family. Going to the park and spending time together gave me small bursts of happiness. Those moments kept me going, and they still do. I cherish them deeply.
I have always had a habit of suppressing my emotions, and over time, drinking only pushed them deeper until they began to control me. The next day, I would wake up feeling worse, full of regret, anxiety, and overthinking.
Still, I stayed prayerful and grateful. I reminded myself that everyone has their struggles, and I tried to stay positive to prevent a complete breakdown. That attitude helped me hold on to gratitude, even when I drifted away from it.
Every time I saw the Gratitude app on my phone, it reminded me to pause and appreciate the little things. Even without making entries, it nudged me to acknowledge my small wins, my resilience, and my growth. I used to take myself for granted, but gratitude helped me see how far I have come and how much I have accomplished.
Gratitude taught me to express myself and to love myself more. It showed me how to embrace both the good and the bad, the wins and the lessons. I have realized that I am human, and there is always room to grow, but I must always see myself with kindness and love.
At one point, I truly lost my way. I was in a car accident, my anxiety was taking over my life, and alcohol had become my closest companion. Yet, even in those darkest moments, I stayed faithful. I tried to keep updating my gratitude journal whenever I could, even if it meant writing through tears.
I used to hate myself, filled with insecurities and self-pity, but that is no longer the case. Gratitude helped me heal. It made me more aware, more hopeful, and more in love with life and with who I am becoming.
Today, as I checked the app again after months of silence, I looked back at old entries and realized how much I have grown. Those past moments, once painful, now make me proud. I have achieved things I never thought I could.
For once, my story does not make me sad. It makes me grateful. Grateful for my growth, my strength, and my journey. Grateful for the people who have stood by me. And most of all, grateful for myself.
I am hopeful. I am capable. I can stand on my own.
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