When was the last time something within you felt deeply fulfilled?
Do you remember the feelings of pure and complete awe, wonder, joy, playfulness, enthusiasm, and contentment you experienced in certain moments as a kid?
When you lay on the grass and looked for funny shapes in clouds, when you visited your grandparents and the ways in which they showered you with love, or when you played with your friends all day long with no concept of time. Those were moments when we let ourselves just be, in our most natural essence. We were allowed to play, explore, run, create, move, and live in ways we were meant to as children.
But as life started changing, our priorities and days started looking different. School, college, university, family responsibilities, health routines, and work. Among the things we ought to do, we perhaps forgot how to simply be the child that we still are within.
Along with hobbies, community spaces, or “third-spaces,” play has been fading from our lives as well. As if it isn’t one of the most important factors for our well-being, simply because we are adults.
A lot of us might be engaging in sports or hobbies to reconnect with that part of us that may have been lost some time back. But how do we go a step further? How do we look at reconnecting with our inner child, not as a task off our to-do list every day or every week, or as another habit we “should” add to our routine, but as a way of living that comes naturally to us? Experiencing deeper connection within, with joy, fulfilment, wonder and awe for this world?
Maybe if we let go of the label of being a responsible grown-up adult for this read, and open our minds within to what will make us feel connected to that innocent, all-loving, all-embracing, creative, courageous, and free child that we once might have been, we could already experience deeper intimacy within.
Here are some ways I believe we can begin connecting within with that inner child:
- Talk to yourself and the child within.
If talking to myself out loud ever meant that I’m eccentric, then so be it! Maybe I’m a peculiar genius.
There are proven benefits to self-talk that occurs out loud. It is actually advantageous for us and how we perceive ourselves. So why not make it a habit to finally talk to the child within, who has perhaps not been feeling heard or seen lately?
It’s quite simple to get started with this. Take a moment and sit with yourself in a distraction-free space. Shut your eyes gently if that feels safe and place a hand gently on your chest. Take a few deep breaths and start noticing the sensations in your body. Notice how they feel, move, change, travel around, and what they carry (memories, thoughts, emotions, or more).
Now ask yourself out loud or within: What am I feeling right now?
Your answer may differ each time. Sometimes you may not even be able to identify what you’re feeling. That’s okay – it’s just a signal for you to connect with yourself more often. After you have identified the feeling you’re experiencing, note where it’s coming from or ask yourself what you need right now. Slowly, answers will emerge. Let them. Let them not be forced. Depending on where you are in life right now, you may want to explore other relevant questions. And if at any point in time it gets overwhelming to feel, just take a few deep breaths, open your eyes and bring yourself back to the present space that you’re in.
This is how you’ll reach the depths of your needs and feelings, ones that you need to tend to more often or ones that were perhaps neglected when you were younger.
- Find a new interest every week or reconnect with old ones you loved as a kid.
I had many interests as a kid, the list is truly endless: dance, playing the keyboard, art, craft, martial arts, foreign languages, puzzles, reading, cooking, eating delicious food, mathematics, animals, photography, digital art, music production, and on and on.
But how many of our interests do we connect back with anymore? I realized that to experience more joy and pleasure in my life every day, I must bring back these interests and nurture new ones more often, without guilt, expectations of outcomes, or a compulsion to continue. That’s what I started doing since 2025. I reconnected with music and playing the keyboard, started art in different ways and always had a new activity to look forward to if I got bored. It’s mind-boggling how much of a difference it can make.
- Learn something new every week.
As someone who unrealistically expects herself to be a master at something I learnt 5 minutes back, learning something new can get challenging and dreadful sometimes. But because I love learning so much, I always try my best to lower my expectations for the first few months at least and remind myself that I’m a beginner (even though I may have to repeat affirmations to myself so I don’t feel discouraged or abandon it altogether.)
Learning new things lights up all the areas and circuits of our brain that need to be lightened up. Novelty brings more variety in life and learning something new changes your perspective and mindset very easily. I would love to learn design really well soon. What about you?
- Go on that adventure!
Just go on that adventure you’ve always wanted to, but found excuses for. You know you’re going to have fun as you move beyond your comfort zone. When we do things that are beyond our comfort zone more often, we expand our comfort zone, and hence our life. An adventure gives the perfect level of excitement, change and refreshment any child would need when life gets monotonous. Why not gift it to your inner child this month?
- Create without an outcome, expectation or wanting to be productive or impressive.
“The inner artist, like the inner child, never goes away, but is patiently waiting for an invitation to come out and play.” ~ James McCrae
Let the inner child just be, and express. Whatever that may look like, it will leave you feeling cathartic. When we create more than we consume, we build a life of joy, especially when what we’ve created is not a performance for others. Creation can come in any form: writing, drawing, sketching, painting, pottery, designing, crafts, singing, composing, acting, dancing, moving, cooking and so much more. Whatever feels natural to you and the child within.
- Look at everything through the lens of curiosity.
Ask more questions. Think more critically. Before we were told what and how to be and think, we were always curious about everything as children. Curiosity is the spark we had as children that we can always reconnect with.
- Revisit things that made your heart happy or calm as a child.
Things that made my heart feel calm as a kid were: getting a lot of sleep, playing with my friends, visiting my hometown and grandparents, and travelling to new places. My heart was content with this much. With reflection, what comes up for you?
- Create comfort rituals.
These comfort rituals act as a sign for your body, mind and nervous system to gently slow down and relax itself. These could be done at times that feel natural and needed for you and could look like a wide variety of things. Reading a book before bed, breathwork in the morning, praying, meditation, and going for a walk are some examples. These tell your body that it’s safe and okay now to relax and feel calmer.
- Go on dates with yourself, or to do things you enjoy or want to explore.
Imagine the ideal date scenario, but it’s you profoundly expressing your love for yourself through it. Because self-love is an act, and the feeling of being loved comes from actions you take for yourself and your inner child, going on a date with yourself every month or week is important. Your likes and dislikes may evolve, but sometimes only you can give yourself what you need. We don’t always need someone to be there with us doing things we love. We can try to simply do them alone as a way of reconnecting with what we love.
- Attune to your emotions as you would with a child.
I’ve noticed that I automatically become extremely warm and gentle with children when they are experiencing difficult emotions. Most of us don’t judge them or criticize them, but we soothe, reassure, validate and help them regulate. What would it take for us to do the same for ourselves? Why don’t we already speak to ourselves with kindness, warmth and radical acceptance?
It is, of course, a long process of unlearning, but it is possible and extremely rewarding. We can reflect on how to make it easier for ourselves to respond to emotions like we would to a child.
Here’s a prompt for you: How can I respond to my emotions more kindly?
Whoa, those were a lot of ideas. Let’s pause here and take 2 deep breaths and move ahead…to more ideas!
- Move your body intuitively.
Your body holds the most wisdom about you. You just have to listen attentively and kindly, and give it what it needs. This may look like: eating whenever hungry, drinking water when thirsty, sleeping when you feel sleepy, moving when you feel restless, distracted or on edge. So simple and obvious right? But how many times have we postponed fulfilling these needs because of life’s demands? In a meeting, in an exam hall, while doomscrolling in bed, whatever it may be.
Our body cannot speak to us in our language but it speaks in symptoms, energy, movement, cues and feelings. Intuitive movement helps us reconnect with our needs, emotions, feelings, memories, and younger parts of us.
Intuitive movement may take time to be understood. But it comes up in tiny ways that may look like a restless leg, a fidgety hand, inability to sit still for a long time, the urge to move or seek distraction. These are signs that energy in your body needs to be expressed, or channelled in a different way.
First, reconnect with your body by doing a body scan. Ask it how it wants to express right now. Then choose movement that feels good. Some examples include, dancing in ways that feel like a release, stretching or walking, playing, hiking, gardening or resting, if movement isn’t what you need at the moment.
- Make small spontaneous choices.
Taking a different route back home, walking to the gym instead, doing something completely out of routine on the weekend, eating something you would never normally try; basically, surprising yourself. That’s how we reconnect with our awe and wonder.
- Let joy interrupt your plans.
Let your plans with friends or a fun conversation with a stranger get in your way sometimes. Even if it may mean, having to calibrate your schedule for a day. Don’t postpone joy often, because that may disappoint the child within you.
- Keep small promises to yourself.
For example, “I will sleep early tonight,” “I will eat out once a week from now on,” or “I will move my body intentionally for an hour, 4 times every week.” This helps you trust yourself more. The inner child is always listening. The more you keep your promises to yourself, the more safety is created within.
- Visit places that once felt safe.
These could look like a garden you enjoyed as a kid, a city you visited often in childhood but stopped visiting, the house of your relatives or grandparents that you enjoyed going to, the ice cream shop or bakery that you’ve grown up with, or an old friend who you’re yet to reconnect with. Places bring along safety and comfort, that may have once been lost. And these places can also be found in people, memories, relationships, or at the corner of our streets.
- Be silly and laugh at yourself.
“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” ~ Barry Humphries
Being silly is the #1 sign that you don’t take yourself very seriously, like children. Being silly without an audience helps the goofiness and playfulness of your inner child to be experienced without judgement. Can you still make the weirdest, funniest face possible while looking in the mirror and laugh at yourself? Can you laugh at your mistakes and failure? Can you take life a little less seriously sometimes? Sometimes it’s so important to just let ourselves be human.
- Receive appreciation, or give it to yourself with pride, and let yourself experience the feeling.
Without downplaying or invalidating your success or achievements, how would pride and appreciation feel for you? Children don’t hesitate to celebrate themselves and their joys. So why should we not let our inner child experience the same?
- Do tiny things that you weren’t allowed to do as a kid.
To this list you could add rules and regulations you had to follow for seemingly no reason in your house or school, that you can try now. These could look like, travelling to places you weren’t allowed to, being friendly with trustable strangers, wearing what you want to, eating more of what you like, expressing yourself in ways you weren’t allowed to, returning home at a time that you feel comfortable with, or even having unlimited play time. We carry some rules with ourselves beyond childhood, those that weren’t specifically protecting or helping us. Breaking free of these rules, even if occasionally, could help our inner child experience a sense of autonomy and freedom.
- Allow messiness in some parts of your life.
A cluttered closet. An unfinished thought. Expressing feelings imperfectly. Trying to resolve a difficult conflict immaturely. A feeling that doesn’t express itself neatly. Making mistakes. Being imperfect. Being human. Messiness is bound to occur, but accepting this fact and letting ourselves be human is what will make your inner child feel valued.
- Letting emotions move through your body without naming or managing them.
Crying without a reason and laughing when you feel like it (in appropriate and private settings). Letting emotional energy pass through your body without asking what it means. This can also include saying no without an explanation, simply because you wish to. This teaches your inner child that it’s safe to express emotions and communicate boundaries with others, regardless of how they react.
So what’s one small way you can connect with the child within, starting now?
If this reflection brought anything up for you, you’re welcome to write to me at piyusha@gratefulness.me. I’m always open to hearing your thoughts and to suggestions for future topics.
May this be an invitation to stay connected with yourself, with kindness and curiosity. Until next time. 🤍
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