Since my husband committed suicide in the fall of 2019, my life took a turn for the worst. I was 48 years old, suddenly homeless, and living on the streets of Tucson, Arizona.
I lost my husband of 27 years, David, to the voices of his disease—paranoid schizophrenia. He told me he could no longer bear the torment, that the medication wasn’t helping anymore, and that he feared the future. He refused to be admitted to a medical facility and given drugs that, in his words, would “turn him into a zombie.” For him, that was the only option he could see.
His battle, he said, was over. Over and over, he reminded me that I was not to blame. One of our last conversations was the hardest moment of my life—watching him drive away, knowing I would never see him again. He wanted to return to California, the place of his birth, and spend his final days near the ocean, where the waves would comfort him.
Before he left, we prayed. David reminded me to be grateful: for our years together, for our daughters, and for our grandchildren. To be grateful that none of them had inherited his disease—a disease so misunderstood and feared by many.
Choosing Gratitude After Loss
Five years later, I am grateful to be off the streets and thankful for the blessings in my life. Gratitude—big and small—has become an essential part of who I am.
I’ve learned that saying “thank you” and showing appreciation can ripple outward. Just greeting a stranger with a cheerful “good morning” is a gift of kindness. When you thank someone for that kindness, you encourage them to keep spreading it.
Being grateful is an attitude worth practicing and passing on. Teach it to your children. Remind your spouse. Live it out in simple ways. When I saw my daughters doing the right thing, I would give them a discreet thumbs up (so as not to embarrass them in public) and later tell them how proud I was of their kindness. Those small acts helped shape them into the inspirational young women they are today.
Why Gratitude Matters
Gratitude reminds me that, no matter how hard life has been, it could always be worse—and right now, it isn’t. It shifts my perspective to notice that good things are happening all around us. Sometimes we have to look for them, but they are there, waiting to be seen.
Gratefulness leads to love. A grateful heart is a loving heart, and love creates true, lasting friendships.Gratitude leaves no room for hate. It teaches us to help those in need, not to walk past them.Gratitude multiplies generosity. Even if we are not rich, sharing what we have reminds us that when our own resources run out, friends will notice and share in return.Gratitude invites help. When we ask for support, gratitude ensures that the help offered is met with appreciation.
Being grateful means being thankful for everything—opportunities, material blessings, friendships, and even the lessons hidden in hardship.
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