Photo©Dmytro/123rf

I once had a conversation with another parent who told me of a trip she had taken with her two teenage children and husband, where everyone, per her rule, left their cell phones at home. She spoke of how they sang together on the ride, played games, hung out, had great conversations, made food, hiked together and more. She talked fondly of how connected they all felt on this one particular weekend.

Upon arriving back home though, everyone went back to business as usual. Phones at the dinner table. Phones pulling people away into their own corners of the house. Phones interrupting in-person conversations. She mused that she should really make some new rules, but that likely given the age of her children they wouldn’t go for it. She sighed longingly as she ended the conversation by saying, “We were a much happier family before the cell phones.”

How is it that we have traded the very happiness of our lives together for lives dictated by an incessant and interrupting machine?

Is it actually normal to be so attached to a machine?

We do it by buying into a reality that says this is how it is now. We do it by allowing ourselves to be talked into things that don’t actually feel good to us. And we do it by abdicating our own personal responsibility in favor of letting the wrong thing be in charge of our lives.

Every single day, moment by moment, you create your life, weaving together stories in your mind that you refer to as “truth.” These stories become your reality, and they knowingly and unknowingly, tell you what is possible and what is real. You gather these stories from your family of origin, your school, your church, the times we’re living in, the books you read, the media you consume, your own personal and unique experiences, “what everyone else is doing,” and so very much more.

Everyone Else Is Doing It, So It Must Be Okay

And while we all like to believe that the realities we hold are true, left untested, we can base our lives on all the wrong things. With this said…

Have you ever stopped to deeply question the realities you have bought into when it comes to how you use your cell phone?

It is always a big ask to challenge something that not only we usually don’t question, but that also seems to be what everyone else is doing. In other words, we can hide out under the cover of our untested assumptions and the so-called normalcy of it all because it seems like everyone else is doing it, so it must be okay.

But think about it: Is it actually normal to be so attached to a machine?

This is a big ask given how ubiquitous the phones have become. It is also a big ask because, at its heart, this is about so much more than a cell phone. Instead, it is about recognizing and releasing the ways we unconsciously hand over our lives to others: streaming services, social media, influencers and more. But without regularly questioning our realities, we are destined to be caught up in something that has nothing to do with our happiness.

Ways To Set Boundaries With Your Phone

If this makes sense to you and your life feels controlled by your phone, stop believing this is the only way you can live. Set boundaries with yourself and others based on your values and what you believe is best for your relationships and your personal sanity and well-being. Make real human needs and connection with others a priority.

Put the devices in the position of always playing second fiddle to the welfare of your life. This may be a radical departure from how you have been living. But if you can set aside how you’ve been doing things up to now, and choose to commit to the preciousness of your life, anything is possible. Not only in this regard, but in all areas of your life.

In the process of making changes, don’t be afraid to identify what is not working for you. This is valuable information you need to help you change and choose for something else. That’s why, if you can be brave enough to deal with what is not working for you when it comes to your cell phone, that discomfort can serve as a catalyst for creating a life you can actually feel good about. You are the only one that determines the quality and happiness of your life.

Susan McNamara is a woman who cares deeply about how we are living and how it is we treat ourselves, each other and the planet. For more than thirty years she has been focused on living according to what matters most to her. Her most recent book, Remembering What Matters Most: A Call to Courage for Parents Ready to Take a Stand for Childhood in The Age of Technology is now available. She writes on Substack and can be reached at www.rememberingwhatmattersmost.com

Find holistic Energy Healing and Medicine in the Spirit of Change online Alternative Health Directory.

RELATED ARTICLES:
If We Ditched Our Cell Phones, Would We Find Ourselves Again?
To Improve Digital Well-Being, Put Your Phone Down And Talk To People

Pin It on Pinterest